*me eating something*: this taste like ass
mom: how do u know what ass tastes like lol
Every time I think the right wing nutjobs have reached peak derp, they go and surprise me.
Keep reaching for the stars, stupid!
"You’re the straightest gay guy I kn-"
"You’re not like those other gay people who go to those awful pride para-"
"You’re gay? Then why don’t you hit on me or other gu-"
|—||Saul Bellow (via misswallflower)|
dads on vacation
I asked my brother for a glass of water and he brought me back a cup of ice and said “wait”